God knows my heart

Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act." Prov. 24:12

October Instant Replay

Wouldn't it be nice if "life" had an instant replay mode? You know... the kind the NFL coaches get to use when a call from a referee is questionable, or a play is being disputed, or to see if the receivers foot was inside the line when the ball was caught in the end-zone... the really important stuff, right?

Now imagine instant replay for "parenthood". You know... the kind moms get to use when an argument breaks out and the other one says "he/she did it!", or when you are so busy running from carpool to activities that you forget to enjoy the "ride", or when life gets so hectic that you miss out on the day-to-day simple things that make up the really BIG things in life... the important stuff, you know?
Just hit the INSTANT REPLAY button.
It will replay all those amazing, yet simple events that you rushed through.
Unfortunately for me, life doesn't have a REPLAY or REWIND button for me to hit. I have to rely on my memory(or lack thereof) and my camera to capture the moments in time that I do not want to miss.

So, this is my feeble attempt to REPLAY a few of the happenings that have transpired in October at the Runner home. They are in no particular order. My memory hasn't learned to "file" the events in sequence and it probably never will.

Abbey got her 1st haircut on October 5. Aunt Tammy cut her hair and she sat so still for her. Of course, I saved a lock of her hair and put it in her China box.

Abbey also started Moms Morning Out this month. To say I was a nervous-wreck is an understatement.
I had prayed and fretted over this decision for months, but finally decided to enroll her in a local church's MMO program for 2 mornings a week. I knew I needed a break and knew she would enjoy being around other kids and getting to play with them. Guess what? She has done wonderful. No tears, no crying, some clinging, but all-in-all it has been a terrific experience for BOTH of us.

Madeline made A's and B's on her 1st report card of 2nd grade. We have been so proud of her work this year in school. Cody had A's and B's as well. Cody has a really tough schedule this year. He is taking Latin III and Classical Philosophy and two Honors courses.

Matthew made all A's on his report card at his new school. He is really enjoying school this year!
He also received an invitation to join the Beta Club this month.

So here we are almost at the end of October and anxiously awaiting Halloween on Monday.
This month has flown by for me.
Hey, is there a FREEZE button I could push as well?

Ouch... my head

It all happened so fast. One minute, Abbey and Madeline are playing in the dining room, the next minute Abbey has a gash in her head. Ouch! Her little forehead met up with the leg on the dining room table.

Long story short... she needed 2 stitches to close her bo-bo! The sutures didn't bother her as much as us holding her down. Abbey may be little, but boy is she strong! She stood up on the table after we were finished and wiggled her behind and said " na-na- na-nana". That's right, she was her sassy little self again.

I have a feeling this may be the first of  'many stitches' our Abbey may need in the future.
Lord, please prove me wrong on this one.

She is 2

That's right, we now have a big "2" year-old!
We celebrated Abbey's birthday on her birthdate, September 14th.
This is Abbey's first birthday with us. She was in China when she turned "1", but I do have pictures from that 1st birthday. The wonderful staff at Amazing Hands took pictures of Abbey on her special day and gave them to us. How awesome is that? What a gift.

We kept the party small...my parents and our good friends the Nashs'. She loved her birthday cake! She has a sweet tooth just like her mama. Of course, the presents were the big hit of the night. Not just the presents; but the paper, boxes, bags that the presents came in. She laughed every time she pulled another piece of paper out of the bag! It was so cute.

Mike and I gave her a motorized Tinkerbell four-wheeler. She was hesitant at first to push the button to make it go, but quickly got over that. Abbey and Madeline love to ride in Madeline's Barbie jeep, but there are times that Madeline isn't here or she is doing something else and Abbey will beg to "ride"....so, now Miss Abbey can get on her "bike"(that's what we are calling it) and ride by herself.
And ride she does.
Happy Birthday my sweet Abbey, I love you so much and am so blessed that you call me "Mom".
I thank God every day for bringing you into our family and allowing me to be your mother. You are such a blessing to all of us.

Birthdays!!

September is a BIG birthday month at the Runner home. Mike starts us off with his birthday on the 6th. Next is Matthew's two days later on the 8th.. 9/8/99! When I was pregnant with Matthew I remember Mike and I talking about how neat it would be for him to be born on Mike's birthday or to have a 9/9/99 birthdate. Oh well, Matthew came into the world at just the right time for all of us. I actually wasn't due until Sept. 24th, so we were just happy that he was healthy and not the preemie we expected most of my pregnancy.

Matthew had begged us to get him a phone, but we are "mean" parents and denied the request.. ha.
Instead, I let him pick out a video game of his choice, within limits of course. He is growing up and is most of the time, still my sweet, loving Matthew.

He hugs me good-bye every morning before leaving for school.

Seven Months

I was lying down with Abbey this evening as she drifted off to sleep and it occurred to me that she has been home with us for 7 months now.
Abbey was placed in the Luoyang SWI when she was a little over 2 weeks old.
She lived there until she was 7 months old.
At 7 months she was transferred to Amazing Hands foster home in Beijing to receive medical treatment for her clubfoot. She stayed there until she was 16 1/2 months old when we arrived to bring her home.

At only 2 weeks old, my little girl experienced her first loss, her China mom...her birth mother.

Then again at 7 months old, she lost the only home she had ever known, her orphanage. I am sure she missed her "ayi", the nanny who took care of her, the familiar surroundings and schedule.  Someone at her orphanage had decided Abbey would benefit from the medical treatment she could receive at Amazing Hands and her life once again was altered.

And altered it was... in the best and brightest of ways. The staff and director at AH didn't just care for Abbey... they loved her. She blossomed into a happy, active little girl and her medical treatment allowed her to stand and walk. The "loss" of all that she had known for those first 7 months was now replaced with
wonderful home full of love and lots of hugs and kisses. She actually became a little spoiled there if you ask me.  Abbey lived at AH for 9 months until we arrived in China in January 2011 to make her part of our family

 Now, I think now of how much she and I have changed in these past seven months.
How can it be ONLY 7 months? It seems like she has always been here and part of our lives, but at the same time I feel like I learn something new about her everyday. Seven months is really not that long in the grand scheme of things. I have to remind myself of this fact a lot lately. I really do forget that Abbey is still in some ways coping and adjusting to being our little girl.
 Of course, most of the time she is her wild, in constant motion, smiley self. It's the other times that "slap me in the face" and remind me of the loss and helplessness my baby girl has felt in her short life.

 It's the times when she is tired and hungry          OR
When I am showing too much attention to any of her sibs, but especially Madeline    OR
At bed-time when she doesn't want to separate from me     OR
During the day she would rather be on my hip than any other place on earth      OR
When she gets my attention by putting my face in her hands and turning it towards her face as if to say "I am here, look at me, arent' I special?"                 OR
When she has a complete "meltdown" in the car or elsewhere because something doesn't go her way or the right video isn't on. I am talking a complete, kicking,screaming, angry, inconsolable cry.  I have never heard a cry so "mad" as the cries I have heard from Abbey.

It is at moments like these she remembers she doesn't have control of her surroundings and that frightens her. These are the moments as a mom you just want to throw your hands up and bail out... it's tough.
But in the same moment you want to hold them so tight and pour every ounce of love into that broken little heart.

So how do I know that some of  the actions I witness in Abbey are related to adoption and not just a case of the early "terrible twos"? Well, first of all I did my research PRIOR to both adoptions and learned so much  about how children process the events that are happening around them. I also have the best group of BTDT adoptive moms(and best friends) who are my sounding board and are able to offer their insight from the "outside looking in". I also pray A LOT! I ask God to give me patience and understanding and equip me with the tools I need to reassure Abbey that she will never again have to be "taken away" from the things that comfort her and the people she loves. I don't always have the right answers at any particular time, but at some point God DOES reveal what he wants me to hear. I only have to be willing to listen.

And sometimes there is no better time to listen than when I am lying next to my sweet Abbey in the evening.

Stop the ride... I want to get off!

How is it that in a matther of days my life can go from semi-normal to outright chaos?
School has started... and with that comes a hundred pieces of paper to keep up with and sign for this teacher and that event, or payments for PTO affairs, lunch money deposited into accounts, and of course the homework that ensues.

Now, factor in the above X 3!
Now factor in a 23 pound little thing that has also managed to turn her mother's world upside-down right here as school has started for the big kids. Let me explain.

Abbey officially climbed(leap) out of her crib two weeks ago. It all happened in slow-motion and I thought my heart would never recover. She hasn't been sleeping through the night for well over a month now. She would wake up everytime we put her in her crib and cry inconsolably. This occurred several times a night. Mike and I were taking shifts, but we were at the end of our parent-hood rope.
So after scaling the crib, we had no option but to put her in the bed with us until we made arrangements for a toddler bed. Now I no what you are thinking....
" What nuts... dont' they know that is the biggest no-no in raising children."
"Poor Abbey, now she will be dependent on her crazy parents the rest of her life"
"Big mistake, now they will never get her out of their bed."
I am here to tell you,
That was the best night sleep I have had in months. She drifted right off to sleep,hardly wiggled and snuggled up against me several times. But, Mike is an early riser and Abbey would her him awake and get up as well,.. a little too early.

Now we have a toddler bed in her room next to the twin bed, She does great when Mike puts her in it. But with me she wants me to lie down on the twin bed, then she crawls up on the twin bed to sleep next to me, UUUGGGH... so we spend our entire nap time climbing up and down and getting mad. It isn't pretty
I can honestly say I now know  how our friends that adopted their daughter Francesca felt when their   little girl turned out to be a fire-cracker!!!! I feel like i am on a hyper-vigilant mission to spoil and
 contain any unusual distress she may cause around the house and elsewhere. She basically leaves me exhausted.
If you are reading this and it describes your child, then Bless you,. I will be praying for you and I ask you to do the same for me. 
If you are reading this and thinking... children do not behave like this with proper parental control. Call me I would love for you to go to lunch with Abbey and I . It will be one you won't forger!


Anyhoot... we still  are not sleeping , she is still waking up, school started right on time. I am just praying we have all of this worked out soon, Pray that Abbey will somehow understand that her mommy is losing it and that she will have mercy on me,

Naaaaggghhhh!

Back to School

Here we go... back to school week at the Runner home. The summer flew by when we weren't looking!
Cody's first day of class is Friday, Madeline has orientation and class begins Wednesday and Matthew started school today.  All three are at different schools, hence the varying start dates.
Bottom line though... our mornings of sleeping late are OVER.
I hate alarm clocks. Horrible way to be wakened out of a wonderful sleep.

Matthew is in 6th grade this year at a new school. It was a hard decision to make, but Mike and I felt he was ready for a change. So did Matthew. I know he will do great, but the momma in me conjures up all the worries and "what-if's?" I sat with him before he went to sleep last night and I prayed over my son. 
I prayed out loud so he could hear me asking God for his guidance and protection over him.
Oh how this momma prayed... you name it, we prayed about it.

So this morning I watched as he walked up the driveway to wait on the bus. I told him I loved him one more time and he waved his hand back to me as if to say... "I know, I know you have told me a hundred times.. you love me, you love me." I remembered a saying this morning too.

To be a mom is to have your heart go walking around outside your body. 

I couldn't agree more.

Six months home with Abbey

Can you believe six months ago I was freezing to death in Beijing? Now here we are broiling under the Mississippi sun. Where has the time gone? I must have fallen asleep...no.. wait... that must be someone else, sleep is something I only wish for these days!
Little Miss Abbey has definitely put an element of "surprise" into this crazy life of ours. She keeps me on my toes and is doing her best to give me an early heart attack. But, oh how I love this little 'firecracker' of mine!
i love her giggle
i love her smile
i love her messy hair
i love her short little toes
i love the way she reaches for my hand
i love her sassy walk
I cannot imagine life without her. She is just so full of life and has such a determined spirit. I know that determination will serve her well in the future when others may view her hand and foot as a hindrance to her abilities. I pity the person who tells her she CAN"T do something... boy are they in for a lesson and a tongue-lashing!!

Our family really has come a long way since January and I can finally say it is as NORMAL as it is going to get around here. MY normal is probably not what YOU would call NORMAL, but we have found a way to make our little family of 6 work for us and I feel blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

Father's Day

Well it is June 19... Father's Day 2011. It is also the middle of summer here in Mississippi which means it is very HOT! Hot as in 100 degrees!
No, I am not kidding.
And, despite the soaring temps my sweet hubby grilled out this evening for us to enjoy a wonderful Father's day meal with my mom and dad, my brother and sister-in-law and of course our crew.
The kids and I gave Mike an outdoor anti-gravity lounge chair. We still aren't sure what the "anti-gravity" deal is all about, but he likes it and the kids say it's cool so... it must be cool!

I am extremely blessed to have Mike as a husband and "Daddy" to our kids. I am sure he had no idea when we got married that he would have 4 kids one day and travel around the world to bring 2 of them home! He also has to put up with me and my "Big Heart" and be the sensible one in our marriage. If not, then I probably would have packed us up and moved to China after we brought Madeline home. He knows that is where my part of my  heart lies... in China with all the waiting children who will never have a mom and dad to call their own.

Thanks Mike for loving me and loving our children.
You are a great DAD and I love you.

21 months old today!

That's right... she is growing up right before our eyes. This little stinker has turned my world upside down in more ways than one, but gosh.... I cannot imagine my life without her. She is such a blessing and has taught me a great deal about that "P" word... you know the one... patience! Abbey requires a great deal of my "patience" at times.
 Everyday is a new beginning for Abbey, and therefore what she did yesterday or the prior minute is all "old news" to her.
This girl is looking for the next thing to get into, to climb on, to take out of and put back in(this especially requires the "p" word from me).
She is on the move from the moment she wakes up calling "Ma-Ma" until she falls asleep in my arms at night. She never stops! 

Her spirit is one of a lively, happy little girl that has stolen her momma's heart. God is so good!

The Cast is Off!

As you can probably tell from the above pictures, yesterday was pretty traumatic for Abbey and MOM, too!
The cast saw was so loud, so that started her screaming right away. After that, she didn't want any of us  touching her leg. We convinced her to let me run warm water over it and wipe off some of excess skin.
She was OK with this, until Dr. Purvis came in to take a look. 
Our doctor thinks the surgery went very well and was pleased with the placement of her foot. NOW..... in order to keep he foot in the correct alignment she will have to wear braces on both feet at nighttime and during her nap. Abbey had already experienced braces in China, but this brace is different and will allow more movement of her legs. She hardly fussed this afternoon when I put them on her for nap


I just cannot tell you what a relief it is to have that cast off and our surgeries done with for a while. I feel like I can actually breathe now,... I have prayed so hard for the doctors, abbey, the other kids, myself and mike, everything. I feel drained and elated at the same time. Elated that it is all behind us, and drained because it zapped everything out of me----literally. This would have been so much harder if Abbey was not the "trooper" she has turned out to be. She simply amazes me. I thank God every night for making me her mommy. I am so lucky to be the mother of two precious little girls and two handsome boys. We are undeniably bubbling over with blessings!!!

Blessings

 

 

The man whispered, "God, speak to me" and a Chickadee sang.

But, the man did not hear.

So the man yelled "God, speak to me!" And, the thunder rolled across the sky.

But, the man did not listen.

The man looked around and said, "God let me see you." And a star shined brightly.

But the man did not notice.

And, the man shouted, "God show me a miracle!" And, a life was born.

But, the man did not know.

So, the man cried out in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here!"

Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man.

But, the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.

Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect. 

~unknown~

Awards Day at School

 Yes, I know these pictures are not from Awards Day, but... I wanted to share them and brag on my kids.
Matthew received A/B Honor Roll and the Bible Verse Award. So proud of him!

Madeline received the Bible Verse Award for her class. Proud of her too!
Cody received recognition for the National Latin Exam at his school. Proud of him too!
So glad this school year is over. A lot of changes for the kids and for me, but in the end it was a wonderful year.

3 surgeries in 3 months

Yes, it's true.
March... 1st hand surgery
April... 2nd hand surgery
May 4... clubfoot corrective surgery
Enough already!

Abbey's clubfoot surgery was performed here at our local children's hospital. We met with the orthopedic surgeon shortly after returning from China. After reviewing her medical records (what little we had of them), he suggested we consider corrective surgery. Let me back up a bit---
Abbey had the Ponseti method of clubfoot correction done in China. The wonderful staff at the Hope Foundation was able to perform the serial casting and manipulation of her foot. The staff at Amazing Hands (the home where Abbey was placed in order for her to receive medical care) provided the care she needed and helped her adjust to her brace. After several months of wearing a brace to hold her foot in the correct position, she was finally able to wear it only at night. That is when we came into the picture.
On our Gotcha' Day, Abbey was placed in my arms and Tina (the house-mother who brought her to Zhengzhou) gave us her brace and instructions on how to put it on her feet at bedtime. She also mentioned the brace often came off during the night. We found that out during our stay in China that the brace did indeed work it's way off during the night and it did not seem to fit securely or comfortably on Abbey's feet.

Back to the present...
This led our surgeon to suggest a tendon transfer on Abbey's right clubfoot since the prior corrective measures had not maintained the proper alignment of her foot. Abbey's amniotic banding on her right foot also was a factor in proceeding with the surgery instead of repeating the Ponseti method again.
That being said... the surgery went well, but it was the 48 hrs after surgery that put me in tears. Abbey isn't able to tolerate any form of codeine/pain medication so that left us alternating ibuprofen and tylenol to help control her pain. She was hurting and my heart was breaking!
Pray, Pray, Pray and pray some more.

I think I have mentioned before that Abbey is one tough cookie! Her resilience and determined spirit rose to the occasion and we soon had our sweet and happy little girl up and going. Well, sort of up and going... she was either in the stroller or on my hip.

Guess which one she preferred the most??

Splish Splash I was taking a Bath...

once again on the bathroom counter...
see my cute pink cast..
mommy says I can't put my foot in the sink because it will get wet...
so I have to take a bath with one foot in the sink
AND
one foot out...
I do get to splash and play in the water with my hands and toys...
mommy says I get water everywhere!
I can't wait to get a "real" bath in the bathtub...
mommy says I have to wait 2 more weeks until that can happen...

Oh well,
I'll just keep smiling and splashing my way into my mommy's heart.

Easter

We had a wonderful Easter! The weather was perfect... plenty of sunshine and warm enough to kick off your shoes after church. The kids took turns hiding and finding eggs. Little Miss Abbey wasn't really interested in the whole "egg hunt" thing. She was probably wondering why we were getting so excited when she found an egg?? She did find a use for her bandaged arm... it made a really great "hanger" for her Easter basket!
Feeling so blessed to share this beautiful season with those I love the most.

Surgery Update

Sorry it has taken me so long to sit down and post an update on Abbey. Things got a little crazy around here mid-week. Abbey did great once again during surgery. This surgery was a bit more extensive--involving all 5 fingers undergoing Z-plasty for the banding and removal of several areas of excess tissue on a few fingers. The areas that were excised were formed when the bands constricted those areas of her fingers. They looked like little "knots" on her fingers, but they weren't exactly little. We go for our post-op check-up on Tuesday.
We probably won't see her hand until 2 weeks from now. I know her hand will look completely different from the little hand I held the first time she filled my arms. Being sentimental, I know.

We did find out however that Abbey does NOT tolerate codeine in pain medication. We discovered this after spending a very LONG night with her screaming, crying, fussing and basically miserable. She also was pulling at her ears and waking up every time we laid her down in her crib. So... the next morning I make an appt. with our pediatrician and guess what..... she has a double ear infection AND the codeine was most likely the culprit of her not sleeping. Some people can tolerate it, and others it makes jittery, agitated, and unable to sleep. Guess we know which category Miss Abbey falls into now!

She finally seems to be getting back to herself and actually slept through the night last night. Whewww... talk about your answered prayers.( I think Mike and I walked around here like zombies over 48 hours).
I actually got out this afternoon and took Madeline to a movie and did some shopping. I needed a break, but of course I started to feel guilty for being away all afternoon. I always do that!
Looking forward to our Easter weekend and being together.

19 mo old and Surgery on the 19th

19...seems to be the magical number around here. Abbey is 19 mo. old as of April the 14th. She is doing so well that I sometimes forget she has only been with us since January 17th. It seems like she has always been here... I guess she has in a way... she has always been in this momma's heart just waiting for the day to hold her.

Speaking of holding her... she does like to be held... a LOT! I have resigned myself to the fact she must need this extra 'mommy' time to feel secure. I have tried to fight it and it always results in her needing me even more. I know she is still adjusting and becoming secure in her environment. Like I said, I just sometimes forget she hasn't been here with us forever. But I can say, this past week she has done better at playing and doing things without wanting me to hold her. So.. for now (and however long it takes) I will have my Abbey on my hip, around my neck, holding onto my leg, etc.. (you get the picture).

Abbey's 2nd surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, the 19th. The doctor will do several Z-plasty procedures on her right hand. Not looking forward to the cast again, but hopefully we learned a few lessons the 1st time around. Her hand is looking better from the 1st surgery, but I still cannot see the
full correction that we are aiming for. As long as this procedure improves the appearance and function of her hand I am all for it. But, gosh it sure is hard watching her endure this.

Remember when I couldn't wait for her to say "momma", well now she says it A LOT. And if I don't answer she says it until I acknowledge her. But we have this really cute thing we do when she says "momma" , I say "yes, sweetie" and she then smacks her lips together like she is kissing me. Of course, I "kiss" her back and say "I love you Abbey". She now sends "kisses" to the boys and Madeline. It is the cutest thing in the world.
I love this little girl so much.

Lord, never let me tire of hearing the words "momma".

Abbey's surgery update Part II

We had our second follow-up appt. yesterday with Abbey's hand surgeon. Everything looks great and her hand is healing well. Of course, the sutures and scabbing looks less than great to me! But I am not the doctor... I am the MOM! She is using her hand more and more each day. That is a good thing, because we have our NEXT surgery tentatively scheduled for the week before Easter.
Back to the cast and bathtime next to the sink... uugghh.
This surgery will be much like the last one, minus the finger separation.
I pray she does as well with this surgery as she did with the 1st one. I know the surgeries are necessary, but it sure is hard to see my baby have to go through this. And really this is sooo minor to what many families have to do once they bring their adopted child home needing corrective surgery of some type.
Please keep us in your prayers as her little hand continues to heal. We all love her so much....

No More Braces

A monumental day for Cody last week. After wearing braces for 27 months, he got them off this past Wednesday, March 30th. Whew.... check that one off the money-pit list, I mean the to-do list.

Hand Surgery update

We had our first look at Abbey's hand on Friday at the doctors office. I was holding her in my lap and the doctor began cutting away the cast and uwrapping the bandages.  I was fine until....I saw her hand.
I broke out in a cold sweat
I began to feel dizzy
I felt like I was about to throw-up
Me... the medical person here. I've watched and assisted with sutures, bone marrow aspirations, biopsies, etc. AND I'm about to faint at the site of my daughter's hand after surgery.
I really was not prepared to see her hand as bruised and discolored as it was. Not to mention all the dried blood on the bandages. And the sutures.
I took some deep breathes and forced myself to hold it together.

This sweet little hand is not the hand she came to us with. It looks so pitiful right now. I am having a really hard time imagining what it will look like once the swelling and bruising goes away. I know it will be OK... I have seen before and after pics of children who have had this type of surgery for ABS. But right now, I am a momma that just wants to make everything alright for Abbey. I would trade places with her in a milli-second to not have her endure the surgery, casts, stitches, and healing that lie ahead.

But my little Abbey is tough. She barely wimpered when the bandages were removed. She sat still while he wrapped her arm back up... and for those of you who know Abbey...being STILL is not on her agenda these days! Right?

She accidentally got her new bandage wet this afternoon while playing outside. So Mike and I decided to take it off, let her have a 'real' bath in the bathtub, then we re-wrap it back up.
Oh my did she love her bath!! Much better than the baths we had to give her on the bathroom counter next to the sink to keep her cast from getting wet!
She looked at her hand a few times, then looked at me, then back at her hand with a confused look on her face. More like a questioning look I guess. I of course teared up and bit my lip to keep from falling apart. She proceeded to slap BOTH hands on the water for a SPLASH and laughed.

Like I said... my sweet Abbey is tough.

Home 2 months

We have been home 2 months on the 28th of this month. I know to some of you that sounds like a long time, but in all honesty...it really hasn't been that long. I say that because when you bring a newly adopted child into your home/family you measure things in "baby steps". The adjustment, the transition, the new schedule all take time. And I don't mean a few weeks or months... we are talking many, many months! Most days bring progress, but then it could be 2 steps forward and one step back.
Take for instance...
I went back to work at the beginning of March working every other weekend at the After-hours Pediatric Clinic. On the weekends that I work, both Abbey AND Madeline are so much more "clingy and needy" when I get home and even a few days after the weekend. It is really obvious that my absence sets off a chain reaction around here. I know in time Abbey will understand that each time Mommy leaves... she always comes back. For Madeline it will take an effort on my part to spend some one-on-one time with her to reassure her of her special place in my heart.
So the process of adjusting, reassuring, talking, sharing, discipline, listening, and loving is an on-going
task in our home. Some days are easier than others and some days are down-right tough. I remind myself that "this too will pass" and look how far we have come in this short amount of time. I pray A LOT! For patience, energy, understanding and strength.
So yes, I am thankful for our "baby steps" and know each one is special. I am also very thankful that one of our "baby steps" includes Abbey sleeping through the night!

Bubbles!

I love my sweet girls! I am so blessed to be their Mom.

Abbey's 1st Hand Surgery

Back at home after surgery and ready for a snack

Feeling "loopy" prior to surgery

Abbey had surgery yesterday, March 17.

For those of you who do not know, Abbey was born with Amniotic Banding Syndrome. Amniotic Banding Syndrome (ABS) occurs when fetal parts (usually a limb or digit) become entangled in fibrous string-like amniotic bands in the womb. Think of a rubber-band left on your wrist or finger too long and the indentation that it leaves when you remove it... and you'll get the idea! These bands restrict the growth of the body part it surrounds. In some cases, the band is so tightly wound that it causes amputation. In Abbey's case, the bands were wrapped around her right hand and right foot. The bands also affected several toes on her left foot.

When we received the referral for Abbey back in September 2010, we were able to see pictures of her right hand and foot. Mike and I looked at each other and said "OK, this is doable" We knew she was our daughter and knew we could manage this special need. Of course, we did lots of research and consulted doctors at UAB and a local doctor that specializes in hand surgery. We knew surgery would be required to correct her hand for cosmetic and functional reasons.

So fast forward to March 2011, we met with Dr. Jabaley, our local hand surgeon, to discuss our options. It was decided surgery would be performed to release the banding on all 5 fingers of her right hand and also correct several toes on both feet.

Abbey did GREAT with the surgery! Her right arm is now wrapped up with a soft cast-like material. She pulls at it and tries to get it off... no can do. We had a rough time last night. She could not get comfortable and I know she was hurting. Thank goodness for Tylenol with Codeine! Today has been better. She is so tough and has managed to do just fine using her left hand for everything!!

Including jabbing, pinching and hitting us with it! Oh.... now to get through the next 3 weeks without getting it wet. Yeah, right~

Spring has Sprung!

Well, it looks like spring is officially here. Everything is blooming and beautiful! I snapped these pictures before church yesterday of Madeline, Matthew and Abbey. Madeline is standing in front of our Japanese Magnolia. It is so pretty this time of year. Of course, the pollen is going to become intolerable in just a few weeks. So far, the rainshowers have kept it under control.

Enjoy the pics and Happy Spring!

18 Months Old

Abbey is 18 months old today. I really can't believe how fast time is going since we have been home. I have missed so many of her "1st's" up until now! But we definitely haven't missed out on her ever-expanding vocabulary! Here are a few of her 1st words:
Da-da
Ma-Ma (she said this and knew Ma-Ma on Feb. 11)
baaa (ball)
Maaaa (she yells this for Matt and Madeline, whoever is closest to answer her)
bye-bye
nigh-nigh (so sweet when she says this and gives me a kiss)
gone-gone (says this when she hands me her empty bottle)

I can't wait to hear her say "wuv uuu". My heart will melt... again.

Why God Made Moms

Why God Made Moms

Letter to Abbey

My sweet Abbey,

I am so in love with you. I find myself staring at your face after you have fallen asleep on my lap once again. I love it when you snuggle up and put your head on my shoulder and fall asleep, too. To me... that is one of the most wonderful things on this earth.... a little slice of heaven.

I study your face and notice the corners of your mouth turn down when you sleep. You are so peaceful and yes, even... still.

But not for long... during the day you are busy, busy, busy! You follow me around and watch everything I do with such interest. You even know which buttons to push on the washing machine and the microwave...ha! You are also what many would consider a "strong-willed child". You remind me a lot of Cody when he was little. You hate to be told "NO". But guess what, sweetie, you will hear it many times and many times you will not like it! Ma-Maw simply says you are a "pistol". I would have to agree.

I know your stubbornness and strong-will have served you well. You are a fighter... I can see that. I often think of your birth mother and wonder if you have her personality. Was she a woman of strong opinion and strength? Did she light up a room with her smile and determined personality? I can't help but think she did. I am so indebted to this woman for bringing you into the world.

I love you so much Abbey. You and I grow closer each day. I am so blessed that God made me your forever mommy.

1 month with Abbey

I can't believe Abbey has been with us for only a month. To me, it feels like she has always been here. It does feel like forever ago that we were in China. Life as we knew it (aka before Abbey) has changed in some ways, but in other ways it pretty much stayed the same. Our lives were somewhat hectic prior to bringing Abbey home and still are.. just throw in a 17-month old baby and it spices things up a bit!

She is so amazing. She is happy for the most part and smiles the sweetest, toothy smile. She follows me around the house "helping" me with chores. And yes, she does like to be held.. A LOT!

The nannies at Amazing Hands told me she was a snuggler and they were not kidding.

She misses the kids during the day and squeals when we go to pick them up at school. They of course love that! Madeline has been jealous and we are working through that day-to-day! Remember, she was the "baby" and the "only girl" before we brought Abbey home. She had my full attention all to herself most of the time. Madeline adores Abbey and loves to play with her, but as soon as she starts getting tired... the little green monster shows up to let me know that "Abbey gets you all to herself. It isnt' fair! I have to go to school and Abbey gets to stay home with you."Like I said... day by day and lots of prayer.

Abbey is full of fun "tricks" and loves to show-off. She winks at us, plants wet, sloppy kisses on our faces when we ask her for a kiss, waves hello and bye-bye, holds "1" finger up when you ask how old she is, and blows kisses and gives the best hugs. So far we haven't found anything that she doesn't like to eat. Mike was making a pasta salad for dinner the other night and he gave her a black olive to taste... and you guessed it ... she ate half the can. She is finally sleeping better and goes to bed around 7:30 and wakes up at 7 am. Those first two weeks home were exhausting. I was beginning to think she would never sleep!Oh and she takes medicine like a champ.... unlike any of our other kids. We would have to hold them down to give medicine. She just opens up that little mouth like a little bird and "all done".

The weather has been warm here lately so we have enjoyed playing outside and strolling on her bike. She isn't to fond of the swing yet, but we are working on that.

My days seem to go by way to fast and there are never enough hours to complete all I want/have to do. I do find myself up to my shoulders in laundry though! Everyday!! When I die I want this put on my headstone~~~~~ "The Last Load"

just kidding.sorta'.

Pictures from Shower

Aren't these adorable?

Welcome Home Baby Shower for Abbey

Our Church, Brandon Presbyterian, wanted to give us a Welcome Home Party and Shower for Abbey. We were so excited for everyone to meet Abbey and share in our joy of finally being back home. On Friday, Feb. 11, we all met in the fellowship hall to enjoy hamburgers, hot dogs and the fixins. I was amazed at the number of people who came and it meant so much to all of us to have everyone there.

I can honestly say, thought, the highlight of the shower were the "Ladybug Cakes" that Rebekkah Dawson made. They were so adorable.!! Rebekkah and John had actually brought us supper the first weekend we were home from China. So Rebekkah got to see Abbey's nursery and the Ladybug theme I decided to use. Little did I know she would take those "bugs" and turn them into the cutest cupcakes, decorations, and the big cake centerpiece. I told her once all my adoption buddies saw the cakes.... everyone will want one! Rebekkah put so much thought into planning this shower and it was so wonderful.... I just cannot thank her enough for making it so special. Hope you enjoy the pictures.

Big Sister Haircut

Madeline has wanted to cut her hair since before Christmas. I just could not bring myself to let her cut it! Oh how I have loved that long, beautiful dark hair! But... when we were in China, it was so hard to take care, keep it clean and pulled back, etc. So....on Thursday, Feb. 10, 2 weeks after arriving home from China. we got it cut!


She was so excited. I admit I felt a little sad, but I do LOVE her new haircut. It makes her look so Grown-up, just perfect for a new BIG SISTER!

Playing outside with her mei-mei

Love It!
I took this picture after her dance class

Getting to Know Abbey

We have been home over a week now. A week on Friday. I can honestly say the first weekend home was a blur. I remember bits and pieces of talking to people on the phone, washing clothes, sleeping whenever Abbey slept and somehow functioning just enough to get by, but really ...

Madeline and Matthew started back to school on Monday. They were both so happy to see their friends again! Not so happy to get back into the morning routine--:(

Abbey started off the week with her first ride in the dreaded CAR SEAT. She hated it, screamed and cried almost all the way to the kid's school. I remembered our Chinese language CD was in the car and put it in... wa-la! no more crying. She just sat there and listened. Needless to say, we have brushed up on our Chinese language skills this past week everytime we get into the car. (ha)

Here are a few things we have discovered about our sweet Abbey since having her home.

1. She loves DOORS... she must open and then close every door she sees. And it must be done correctly...no half-open doors, mind you.

2. She is a climber... she will put those little feet up onto anything she can get a hold of.

3. She is a snuggle-bunny.... she loves to be held, cuddled and loved on. She will give us "kisses" by opening her mouth wide and planting slobber on your face. She also leans forward and puts her arms around us when we ask her to 'give us love'... so precious!

4. She has a temper... yes, it's true. Take something away from her and she turns into the Tasmanian devil. Tell her no and she lies down on the floor on her back and sticks her bottom lip out and begins the most pitiful wail you have ever heard. It's amazing how that wail ceases the minute she is picked up!

5. She is very smart... already figured out how to press the door latches down to get into the cabinets... (see #1)

6. She loves dogs... she stands at the back door and living room windows and squeals when she sees our pet dogs, Sadie and Jacob.

7. I think she has the sweetest little laugh on this planet. And she is ticklish big time!

Abbey has been through so many changes these past few weeks. Our entire family has been been "changed" the last couple of weeks. Abbey has made us stop and see once again just how amazing our children are. Each of them bring their own special gifts into our family. I feel so blessed to be called "mom" and love my kids so much.

Now just waiting to hear those sweet words from Abbey calling me "ma-ma".