Faith... and lack there of

This last week has been one of the most emotional, frustrating, and exhausting weeks of my life. If there ever was a time I needed my faith in God it was this past week. Nothing went as planned, nothing happened like I thought it would, words were either too few or too many and it seemed the tears never quite dried up. I tried so hard to give it up to HIM. I told myself over and over that HE was in control and that HE would make everything happen according to HIS plan NOT mine. But I never got past the feeling of being completely LOST and so totally at the mercy of others.
At one point I thought to myself...God is looking down at me and thinking "oh you of little faith. After all I have done for you..." Then I began beating myself up for not having the kind of faith I knew I owned... it was just buried under all the anxious and scared feelings that controlled my thoughts. How is it that a turn of events, a conversation, or a look can turn us into putty in Satan's hands? We then go down the road of fear,doubt, desperation, anger and tears. I know that my life is in God's hands, but Satan did have a turn this past week at attempting to take my heart to that place called hell.

Thank you God for not giving up on me. Thank you for showing me light in the way my husband and children told me"it's going to be OK". Cody even brought me chocolate-covered almonds one afternoon and said "Mom this will make you feel better... chocolate". Oh how I love that boy.. I mean young man. Please continue to pray for me and our famiy as we trust in God to lead us on new journeys. I will share more about this journey soon.